I just read my past three posts and thought "gosh, what the heck was I going through?" Haha.
I am blessed to say that I have overcome some of what was going on and now am on the right path. I'm not to the end yet, but my feet are facing and moving in the right direction. That feels really good to say. It's so weird to me how the past like two months are a blur. It feels like they weren't even real, I think I lost myself somewhere along the way. But I'm relearning me, and life, and enjoying life. So there are literally no regrets.
My relationship to everything around me has shifted and reformed but I am grateful for what I have, and I do have a lot. I have a wonderful family who loves and supports me, and I have awesome friends who I am still grateful to have here in Michigan. I'd like to be working, but at the same time it's nice to have a bit of a breather, and I can also focus on really getting a job for the time to come. I'm back at college here and to know that after I just finish these last classes, I'm home free....that's a good feeling too. I'm just waiting it out and there are actually only two and a half months left. Crazy. I have more free time than I would like but I think it's also a matter of just becoming okay with everything that is going on.
I've realized that just because one thing doesn't work out doesn't mean other things can't work out. I think for a long time I had this idea that you had to find exactly the right formula to get to success, and now it's just like....well whatever works out is meant to be. I'm a strange bird and will not always feel like somewhere is exactly right...but will learn to live with it anyway. With this post I'm trying to straighten out a few things. It's such a relief to know that progress is being made and after two months of feeling totally out of it, I'm finally on the right track. I can't tell you how grateful I am, can't express it in words.
6 months ago