coming back from MU

This weekend Erika and I headed down to MU to go see Deirdre for her birthday. I am really glad we did so---it felt very familiar to go see her, her family, and Phil. Also, I enjoy the town that the college is in--it may have a plethora of interesting "Miami people" but it's quaint in its own way and beautiful to me. My only wish is that we could have gone away for longer. Now we are back in Columbus and I'm taking advantage of all the stores and buildings and things to do around me but I'm wishing to be in a small town, just playing Gamecube and waiting for E to come home, possibly hanging out with friends every now and then and writing poetry that I think is getting somewhere. :)

I'm not sure about this whole art thing....I keep rethinking taking this second class because it is a LOT of money and almost as much as like a short study abroad experience or something---should I just be taking Community Ed? Am I really going to do something with this class? These are questions I ask myself but in order to find out anything you have to actually dip into things. Try them out and see if they work. Then go from there. Navigating the adult world of work, or preparing for work, is crazy to me....That's why I kind of just want to be a teacher and play with kids all day long. Okay, I KNOW it's not that simple, but I think it would bring me happiness and make me feel fulfilled at the end of the day. All this art stuff--what am I going to do with it? And politics...hm.

This semester, though, is to lay off forcing a decision or a lightbulb aha-moment, and to just be. Number one on my list besides getting to my first Design class on time is to contact that lady back at the volunteer place I want to begin at. Number two on my list is to sign up at the Y and get moving, get running again, now that I have a working music player and some motivation to get moving again. I have to keep setting goals for myself and focusing in on those goals. I think the physical movement will especially help.

Artsy Fartsy Wandering

I'm here in Columbus. I have to physically come to the library when I want to check email because I don't have internet in my house. The house is wonderful, as a sidenote---kitchen that overlooks the snow, warm and welcoming family room, perfect spacious bedroom. But, all along I've been saying to myself--you need to go blog! Now that I'm here in the library, here at a desk, I can't remember what it was I wanted to say.

I like having nowhere to be. Classes start next week but this entire week I've done nothing but hang in the library and explore town. There's nowhere I have to be. No deadlines, no meetings, not even lunches with friends yet. I am a free spirit....traversing the city boundaries, bounding through thrift stores and every branch of the Columbus public library, languidly waking up and brewing tea for myself as I read the books I check out and watch the movies.

I've wanted this for awhile. A breath of fresh air. A departure. A separation from papers and grades. I mean, what college student doesn't, right? But, I don't know, I feel like it's more than that. I'm used to leaving. If I can't leave, I get antsy. If newness in my life doesn't involve a completely different environment, it's not good enough. I want new streets, new buildings to look at when I'm driving around, new bars to sneak into. I can't. Stay. in the same. place.
Is that bad?

"we do not grow absolutely, chronologically.we grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another.The past, present and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations."
anais nin

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the ones who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't." anon

i mean...something to mull over, i guess.