Unsticky Resolutions

So. It's been awhile since my last blog post, though I promised myself that this (blogging regularly) would be a New Year's resolution that would stick. It's the start of my second month here in Columbus. I do not at all regret taking time off to explore my true interests and to take a break from large loads of work. Knowing I'm missing out on a semester with friends and friendly, familiar faces is hard but knowing I'll be back in the fall is a great form of security.

I ended up dropping my intense design course, so now I have the one Figure Drawing course until the middle of March. When the middle of March hits, I will begin an online 5-credit intensive Spanish course, and a course at OSU for beginning design principles. I'm happy with the switch. This means that I will be occupied with two 5-credit classes from March until June. On the very first day of June, I will be leaving to prepare to go to Brazil. Brazil will last for one month, then I will travel around South America for a bit. After that, I'll return to Columbus for the last month and a half, then move back into my house at MSU.

My Figure Drawing course is fantastic. It's everything I want art to be. Relaxed, intense, inspiring, natural, beautiful. I love studying the human figure. Actually, I thought it might be boring to like study anatomy and look up anatomy books and try to figure out how to draw muscle of the body...now, I feel, what could be better? Though people are all different shapes and sizes, the actual form of muscles never change and the general composition of the body, so there are ways to improve at particular body parts, or the like. I like the idea of that kind of mastery. Or aiming at it.

Officially, I have declared my majors and have mapped out a plan. It sounds silly, but last night when I couldn't sleep after driving back to Cbus from MSU, at first I was watching tv programs I've never seen before but secretely been curious about--(Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab, anyone?), but also, those ended and became mush or something and there was suddenly nothing on but infomercials and I stumbled across one for Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker and educator. I felt like--even though you have to pay 19.95 to actually get the deets--this quenched my thirst. Tell me, Tony! I wanted to yell out, though there were two people already asleep in this apartment, plus a hyperactive cat. Tell me how to improve my life!

Well, he did. Maybe I squeezed the already-squeezed orange to get out as much juice as possible, but hey. NOW, I want to change! No, I mean, really. I want to make a plan and stick to it. I want to accept that uncertainty exists but still make decisions anyway! So I've made decisions. No to Ecuador currently, yes to Brazil. Yes to going to OSU for a quarter. Yes to taking Spanish online. No to getting an internship right now. Yes to staying in Columbus until school starts in the fall. Finally, I have actually declared my second major as interdisciplinary humanities. This allows me to get credit for all the English courses I've already taken, credit for the public affairs classes in a new way, and finally, the ability to take art courses as part of my major. Aka, the perfect way to complete my glob of randomness in an organized fashion! My diploma will be two-fold. First, a traditional public affairs degree, and then another in art, english, and public affairs. In addition, this will allow me to work toward the specialization in design that I've always wanted. It may not prepare me directly, but my interests are so scattered and my experience so all over the place that it's obvious that I don't want to be funnelled down a particular tunnel anyway. Law school? (not really though)Grad school? Becoming a teacher in Teach for America? Volunteering abroad? Whatever! All are options.

I'm finding that the best, the very best advice I've ever gotten is "Be Yourself." No one else CAN be you. You already know who "you" "are," and you just have to tune into that and believe that you can't help yourself unless you just go along with what you already are.