"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

17 May 2010

what i want.

I really want to be a better person. There are only about 10 minutes to ruminate on this, but I've come to this conclusion. This idea, this "being a better person"....I've been thinking on it for about the past month. What does this mean, what does this include, where do I go from here?
For me, specifically, it means structuring my life better so that I get to do the things I love and become a healthier, happier, person. I don't want negativity in my life because there are too many awesome things floating around out there and because negative people in my life are more harm than good.
I want to do things that make me feel good. When I have the chance to take a class that will make me feel good, (ie: film and nation), I'd rather take that class over one that I feel I should take, or should be interested in (ie: intl. development). Because, those "should be" feelings have really gotten me before. I should be this, I should do that. No, I SHOULD be myself. And the more I've fought that in the past, the more unhappy I've been.

One new goal is to not flake out. If I tell someone I'm going to do something, or be somewhere, I want to do that thing or be in that place. And that doesn't invoke a sense of rigidity, as in if others don't do that, I get upset, but just in terms of managing my self, I'd like to aspire to that.

I'd like to increase my motivation. I want to actually push myself and challenge myself to new levels. I don't want to take a ton of new classes and just like overload, but I want to select those classes carefully and dedicate myself to pursuing subjects I enjoy or am very interested in. For example, I am actually enthused about learning Portuguese. There are only 2.5 weeks till Brazil now, but that's still enough time to learn the basics!