I really want to be a better person. There are only about 10 minutes to ruminate on this, but I've come to this conclusion. This idea, this "being a better person"....I've been thinking on it for about the past month. What does this mean, what does this include, where do I go from here?
For me, specifically, it means structuring my life better so that I get to do the things I love and become a healthier, happier, person. I don't want negativity in my life because there are too many awesome things floating around out there and because negative people in my life are more harm than good.
I want to do things that make me feel good. When I have the chance to take a class that will make me feel good, (ie: film and nation), I'd rather take that class over one that I feel I should take, or should be interested in (ie: intl. development). Because, those "should be" feelings have really gotten me before. I should be this, I should do that. No, I SHOULD be myself. And the more I've fought that in the past, the more unhappy I've been.
One new goal is to not flake out. If I tell someone I'm going to do something, or be somewhere, I want to do that thing or be in that place. And that doesn't invoke a sense of rigidity, as in if others don't do that, I get upset, but just in terms of managing my self, I'd like to aspire to that.
I'd like to increase my motivation. I want to actually push myself and challenge myself to new levels. I don't want to take a ton of new classes and just like overload, but I want to select those classes carefully and dedicate myself to pursuing subjects I enjoy or am very interested in. For example, I am actually enthused about learning Portuguese. There are only 2.5 weeks till Brazil now, but that's still enough time to learn the basics!
8 months ago