i feel very.....meditative today. i'm not sure why this is. maybe it's because i recently completed an excellent book....the type that refreshes you, reminds you why life is so wonderful, and prods little knobs in your brain that you want to keep lightly touching and turning. ( *EDIT: This book was called "If you follow me" and i highly recommend it!) maybe it's because i woke up and it's a new day and the worries of yesterday seem pretty far away. maybe it's because i'm blessed enough to have multiple opportunities in front of me, down the road. either way, i feel like taking this day to say thanks. thank you to the people in my life who give me hope and remind me that humankind is not all bad, thank you to the kids who make me smile with their youthful energy, and thank you to my family for being like unfailing rocks in my life, showing me that love isn't always zig zaggy static but can just sit there, stagnant but strong in its stance.

i don't feel like holding things in. i don't feel like being dishonest with people and doing roundabouts and avoiding topics to protect myself, or even to protect them. i have the urge to love freely and without reign and i do not want to ignore that urge.